I only know that I would not want to be the one to pass judgement on her. I cannot even fathom the things she had to go through and I look at all the things we deal with in the world today that were not even known about back then....you have to know she had some sort of Post-tramatic syndrome (sp) and depression after Joseph died. Staying behind when the saints went west I think must of been really hard--even though she did not supposedly see eye to eye with Brigham Young, she did have friends that went west. That group of people had been her life and her husbands fruits through God. I love the song on the CD "Tribute to Joseph" about Emma. It starts with a quote from Mother Smith about Emma and all that she had to deal with and go through. Losing her children must have been a severe trial of faith as well.
Actually, there were a number of women who suffered as much as, if not more than, Emma, but who were able to handle their trials much better than Emma did. Emma suffers by comparison to people like Eliza R. Snow and Mary Fielding Smith, for example. In the early days of the Church, virtually all the sisters were enjoying the gifts of the spirit, such as speaking in tongues, interpreting tongues, singing in tongues, prophesying, healing, seeing visions, ministration of angels, etc., but there is no evidence, for example, that Emma ever experienced any of those spiritual gifts.
When various of the sisters were asked to practice polygamy, what was it that converted them to the principle of polygamy? If you read their journals, you find that the thing that converted them to the principle of polygamy was that they experienced glorious visions and other spiritual experiences, but not Emma. She fought the principle of polygamy tooth and nail almost her whole life.
My g-g-grandfather was asked by Brigham Young to go to Emma and try to convince her to go west with the Saints. My g-g-grandfather and one other brother labored with her with her almost all night long, and the only thing that they were able to get out of her was that she would be willing to go "if she could be the guiding light." Brigham was not about to let a woman lead the Church, especially the one that he blamed for Joseph's death. After all, Joseph was safely across the river, in Iowa, and it was only after he read a letter from Emma that he said, "If my life is of no value to my friends, then it is of no value to me" and went back to what he knew would be certain death.
Brigham said that he never saw the day that he would not almost worship Emma if she would only be a Saint instead of a devil. He didn't say anything about where Emma would be spending eternity. Joseph had said that he would be willing to go to hell for such a woman as Emma, and Brigham said that he would have to. That was not because he thought that she would be spending eternity there but only because he understood the doctrine of calling and election made sure better than people do today, and he knew that Emma had had her calling and election made sure. He was only saying that she would have to spend some time in hell and not that she would be spending eternity there.